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FOCUS: Fostering Our Children's Uniqueness & Spirit |
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Happy May to all you precious beings of Love and Light. I am grateful for this opportunity to CONNECT with you again. Each month there is a growing interest and increase of visitors to Nurture a Child’s web site. Thank you for spreading the word and holding a higher vision for children. Together we are building bridges of greater possibilities for youth!
Recently I completed a five week substitute teaching position for a Kindergarten class. A few days into this delightful experience, a student named Tyler, randomly began blessing me with hugs, usually three or more times a day. In the midst of play or classroom activities, he’d stop whatever he was doing so that he could land a hug on me about waist high. The first few times, I made assumptions that he missed his teacher and desired some comfort so I responded by reassuring his teacher’s return and embracing him. After several days, I began to wonder if these random (perhaps intentional) hugs contained a deeper message. So I started paying attention to the timing of Tyler’s offerings of affection. He seemed to KNOW exactly when I was at the fringe of feeling frustrated, dissatisfied or lack of presence. Was Tyler innately tapping into some universal intelligence uniting us in meaningful connection? I think so. I allowed myself to be a receiver of this magnificent gift.
The five weeks were filled with delicious connections. Alyssa connected with me by routinely pasting kisses on my cheek and sweet “I love you’s” after I provided safe space for her to express anger without negative consequences. Ashley and I connected when we both learned to let go of unrealistic expectations we held for each other. Patience, trust and love was our bond. Jayda and I related to one another through smiles, laughter and humor after she discovered pouting had no power.
Of course, I could go on and on. What I am describing is CONNECTION, the link or relationship with others and things. It is how we commune, affiliate, interrelate and share our love and life with others whether it be home, work, school, spiritual or elsewhere. At the very heart of each of us, adults and children alike, exists a desire for connection. It is our first fundamental human need. Our hearts ache for moments of genuine human contact and community in which we feel loved and cherished. We yearn for a sense of belonging and inclusion not only with others but also to something bigger. Children need close relationships with individuals and groups: intimate friendships, family ties, and association with communities.
A Darmouth University study reports that children are hardwired to connect, that they have neurological and physiological needs for connection. Even our nervous system intuitively responds to interactions affecting our moods, emotions, physical body and overall well-being. Research reveals that when children have four to six involved and caring adults in their lives, they fully develop emotionally and socially. Children also learn best when they feel safe, loved and connected. The brain shuts down and stops growing when basic needs are not met. A safe, loving and nurturing environment fosters the brain to grow and the child to blossom.
There appears to be growing disconnection in our culture these days. Our society tends to place a higher value upon things than relationships. More time is spent in front of electronic screens and gadgets than in meaningful social gatherings or conversation. Expanded work hours leave younger and younger children home alone unattended. The concern for safety has diminished the communal quality of neighborhoods long ago where children joyfully played together for hours after school and weekends. The elimination of school recess and increasing isolated paper/pencil tasks in classrooms inhibit opportunities for children to communicate, collaborate, develop friendships and positively contribute to each other’s lives. Although emails have enhanced long distance communication, missing is the depth of lively conversation and just being heard.
The consequences of separation can be harmful. When children feel unconnected, a host of reactions or feelings may occur: anger, unworthiness, discord, depression, rage, powerlessness, loneliness, despair, isolation, violence and hopelessness, just to name a few. When children experience isolation, they are likely to seek connection or associate with gangs, addictions, criminal behavior, power, eating disorders, and even consider suicide.
How do we meet children’s itching need for connection?
WHAT IF?
Think for a moment of your situation. Would you now respond to children differently knowing of their authentic desire for connection? What habits of heart are you willing to embrace to connect more lovingly with children?
Remember, I am not suggesting you need to DO anything more. You already are enough, actually, more than enough. I am only offering new insights, perceptions, ways of BEING with children that will enhance and enrich your CONNECTIONS, your relationships.
Just the simple
act of acknowledging the divine in each other changes our experience
of relationship. Enjoy the exquisite journey….
Nurture
“Nuggets”
TEACHERS’
COMMITMENT TO LIVING LOVE
NURTURING
THE PAREN'TS AND TEACHER'S SOUL
TEACHER APPRECIATION
Teachers:
Copyright
© 2005 Adrian Reznik |
