January 15, 2008
PRESENCE CENTERED

Have you ever had the experience where perception outside your realm of thought blasts you like a burst of intense late afternoon sun dancing across your windshield? You hold your hand up to minimize the blinding
glare yet the brightness still challenges your vision. Then you dodge, duck, twist and squirm to avoid the brilliance. Your entire being is engaged in the process of avoidance. And then suddenly…the light becomes you!

Allow me to share my experience. I was participating in a meeting with colleagues regarding programming decisions for youth. In a "go-around", each participant voiced their personal spin on "what children need." Early on I wondered about the safety and integrity of the dialogue when I observed members of the group repeatedly declaring their professional background or work experiences. Not invested in individual histories, I longed for meaningful exchanges of ideas, thoughts, and perceptions about the essential needs of youth and how to channel that energy into sacred spaces where children flourish.

The meeting headed in a direction that did not follow my understanding of our intention. It wasn't long before I noticed myself fidgeting with distressful confusion and frustration. I perceived my contributions were being squashed by peers of "greater knowledge and experience". Dialogue evolved into exclusion and like a glaring
bolt of lightning, the word NOTHINGNESS flashed before me and through me, permeating every cell of my body. It felt as if I had been ripped wide open and I sensed myself retreating into a protective shell, much like a turtle's suit of armor. To my relief, the meeting ended soon thereafter.

For several more hours NOTHINGNESS crept its way deeper and deeper into my soul. I tried ignoring the intensity of this flashing neon image yet it persisted. I wrestled with putting meaning, language, and structure to this larger than life sensation with little success. Exhausted, I crawled into bed and while briefly reflecting upon the day, overwhelming feelings of despair poured forth into puddles of tears. Having connected with an internal space where I hoard stories and false impressions, NOTHINGNESS equated with my disvalue, worthlessness, and insignificance. I landed at old beliefs of "I am dispensable and disposable." OUCH!!!

After a rest-less night painfully lamenting and weeping, the next day's fog gradually began to lift. I don't know if the tears had a cleansing affect or I was just too fatigued to cry anymore. Regardless of the reason, something inside activated investigation of this stinging perception of NOTHINGNESS. Inquiry led me down the road of realization where NOTHINGNESS conflicted with personal spiritual beliefs of Everythingness. I was puzzled, in
a quandary, hungry to know the significance of NOTHINGNESS knocking on my door of awareness.

From then on, opportunities abounded as the radar of my thoughts, actions, feelings and senses were intent on detecting the genuine meaning of this experience. And then, one day, I stumbled into a quote that captured the pure essence of what I was seeking:

The soul empties itself of all its own contents in order to receive into itself the being it is looking at,
just as he is, in all his truth.Simone Weil.

I was consumed with breathtaking awe for what seemed like eternity yet was only a few treasured seconds. It was as if a 1000 volts burst inside expanding, expanding, expanding me beyond conditioning, programming, and reactions until finally in-seeing the Aware Presence. This time my eyes welled with radiant joy, my cells danced with delight, and I knew I was immersed in something grand and true:

NOTHINGNESS is not the absence of anything;
it is the presence of RADICAL OPENNESS!!!

Empty of moralistic judgments, accumulated baggage and limited concepts of self and others, I am
RECEPTIVE to the fullness of everything and everyone. Awakened to NO-THING-NESS, the Beloved is exquisitely present. Infinite inner spaciousness simply IS. Purged thoughts of who or what I am, could be,
should be, ought to be, or can be, reveal incomprehensible Clarity.

This enlightenment transpired among a classroom of second graders during their/our scheduled "quiet reading" time. When I gasped and gazed into the heavens teary-eyed, students inquired. I offered a simple heart-felt explanation. They seemed to understand the depth of what I meant. They usually do.

Suspended in effortless effort and actionless action, the 90 minutes that followed is still a blur. Lesson plans that day included covering math and science content yet I don't recall that occurring. I have vague recollection of responding with a resounding "YES" to anything the students requested that afternoon trusting they knew exactly what they needed and how to achieve it. With NO curriculum, test preparation, mandates, demands, expectations, limitations, or policies inhibiting our sweet encounters, we floated in a boundless sea of tranquility. The Desire behind all desires was alive and no-thing else seemed to matter.

To be full of things is to be empty of God. To be empty of things is to be full of God.
Meister Eckhart

I suppose this is my dream, that these rare glimpses of Pure Presence are no longer momentary nor
uncommon, especially within the unique dynamic that we call "education". Increasingly, students disengage
and disconnect from life-enriching possibilities as they struggle to thrive in what they describe as "boredom". Just yesterday, this dialogue reoccurred with a group of third graders. When asked what they would rather be doing or choose to do, interestingly enough valuable, meaningful, purposeful learning was at the core of all their creative solutions. Yet, when do we listen to or honor the amazing wisdom of youth? How often are our mutual giving/receiving energy exchanges bathed in attentiveness? What prayerful state of Grace is our holy ground for transcending conditioned mind to the infinite All-Knowing that already resides in each of us?

A child's eternal present is present-absorbed, present-spontaneous, present-elastic.
Jay Griffiths

Presence is the true Self, our inherent state of Beingness, beyond experience or experiencer. Failure to
embrace this purity of consciousness, results in containing and restraining these precious gems we label as "children." RADICAL OPENNESS invites us to shed the tough skins of learning theories and teaching techniques so that we may claim covenants with youth centered in curriculums of aliveness. Naked of self, we return to our original unborn state. Embodying Presence, we are merged with the Universe of unfiltered Receptivity, wherein Creation is flawless.

Life is not intended to be a string of disconnected, fragmented, senseless experiences. Children's curious
minds and enthusiastic spirits must no longer be confined to current educational institutions and practices. Creating hospitable spaces of intentionality fosters children's ongoing process of transcendence, self knowledge and intra-personal intelligence. Attentive and responsive to children's personal interests, experiences and capacities, the existential heart of learning and living prospers. Plugged into Presence, teachings and teachers do not exist outside of us. Wisdom tells me so.

When I see I am nothing,
that is wisdom.
When I see I am everything,
that is love.
And between these two,
my life flows.
Nisargadatta Maharaj

Embracing emptiness,
Hugs of love and gratitude,
Adrian Reznik
Presence Practitioner
I am grateful for your interest in the content of this newsletter. And as always, I invite your questions, comments, and feedback.

Copyright © 2008 Adrian Reznik